How Writing Say the Wrong Thing Has Changed Everything

Dear Readers,

I just released my second book since I launched my Racial Justice from the HEART Business. Lots of people ask me if writing a book is hard or how to do it in a way that helps your finances as well as your calling in the world. Please read the interview below to find out what I learned after publishing my first book in 2016. My NEW book Stop Being Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing is the second in a series on this topic. You can order it on Amazon today!

Below is an interview I did for Help a Reporter Out.  I'm posting it here because I've met many several women of color who have looked to me for advice about writing and self-publishing.  The biggest obstacle seems to be overwhelm, lack of confidence, and not knowing how to begin. I encourage EVERYONE in my tribe to write what they are learning or struggling with, and over time you will have something really valuable! 1. Why did you decide to write your book?

My friend and communications strategist Dr. Sudiksha Joshi read my On a Mission to Heal the Planet blog posts and collected the relevant ones into a first draft.  I needed an outside eye, someone to tell me there was a forest because I could only see the individual trees.

Once I read the posts that Sudiksha collected, I began to think about the overarching lessons and practices I'd been learning regarding racial justice and the heart of oneness.  I got excited to share the learning, and after some Facebook testing called my first book Say the Wrong Thing:  Stories and Strategies for Racial Justice and Authentic Community.

2. How has the book impacted your business?

Say the Wrong Thing has given my business a focus.  After I published the book, I offered a free Lunch and Learn Workshop series as a way to promote the book and to get people using the strategies I offered.  This series is now a fee based course called Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. and is another service that I offer to individuals in my hometown, at retreat centers, and, eventually, online.

I'm also planning to take the Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. series to faith communities and schools which also promotes the book and gives me a way to build relationships with individuals and organizations.

The workshop series also gives me a way to not feel so alone as an solo-preneur.

3. What benefits do you see from publishing your book?

Say the Wrong Thing has also given me a format for my Signature Talk which I plan to use at conferences and book readings/performances.

Say the Wrong Thing has given me a way to earn passive income (online sales in both ebook and paperback formats).

I also carry copies in my purse and share it with people.  When I'm networking at a conference it gives me a way to communicate my Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. visually and verbally, and it reminds me that I have something valuable to offer when I feel intimidated.

It's far better than a business card.

4. How would your life be different without this book?

I would still be struggling to condense my value into an elevator speech and be unclear about my knowledge.  In other words, I knew that I know a lot but I couldn't convey it easily before the book.

5. What was your biggest fear (or fears) about writing and publishing a book?

My biggest fear about writing and publishing Say the Wrong Thing was that I didn't have anything unique or worthwhile to say for more than three or four pages.  Therefore it was critical that I only decided to publish a book after I had a collection of blog posts written over two years.  I was too overwhelmed to write a book from a blank screen.

6. Would you recommend other entrepreneurs write a book to help grow their business?

I would ABSOLUTELY recommend that other entrepreneurs, especially mission-driven, social justice business owners, publish a book as a way to synthesize their knowledge and structure their offerings to the world.

7.Was the outcome what you expected?

No.  The outcomes continue to unfold.  This book is far more than a way to build my list; it is a gift to the world that will keep on giving. Say the Wrong Thing has provided me with a foundation upon which to build my business and to cohere my tribe.  The Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. help me to maintain integrity with myself and guide me day to day.

Get my NEW book Stop Being Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing to learn more about how to apply the strategies I use.

How Writing A Book Changed My Life and My Business

Dear Readers,

I'm on the verge of releasing my second book since I launched my Racial Justice from the HEART Business. Lots of people ask me if writing a book is hard or how to do it in a way that helps your finances as well as your calling in the world. Please read the interview below to find out what I learned after publishing my first book in 2016. My upcoming book Stop Being Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing is the second in a series on this topic. You can pre-order it on Amazon.

Q: Why did you decide to write your book?

AK: My friend and communications strategist Dr. Sudiksha Joshi read my On a Mission to Heal the Planet blog posts and collected the relevant ones into a first draft.  I needed an outside eye, someone to tell me there was a forest because I could only see the individual trees.

Once I read the posts that Sudiksha collected, I began to think about the overarching lessons and practices I'd been learning regarding racial justice and the heart of oneness.  I got excited to share the learning, and after some Facebook testing called my book Say the Wrong Thing:  Stories and Strategies for Racial Justice and Authentic Community.

Q: How has the book impacted your business?

AK: Say the Wrong Thing has given my business a focus.  After I published the book, I offered a free Lunch and Learn Workshop series as a way to promote the book and to get people using the strategies I offered.  This series is now a fee based course called Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. and is another service that I offer to individuals in my hometown, at retreat centers, and, eventually, online.

I'm also planning to take the Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. series to faith communities and schools which also promotes the book and gives me a way to build relationships with individuals and organizations.

 The workshop series also gives me a way to not feel so alone as a solo-preneur.

Q. What benefits do you see from publishing your book?

AK: Say the Wrong Thing has also given me a format for my Signature Talk which I plan to use at conferences and book readings/performances.

Say the Wrong Thing has given me a way to earn passive income (online sales in both ebook and paperback formats).  

I also carry copies in my purse and share it with people.  When I'm networking at a conference it gives me a way to communicate my strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. visually and verbally, and it reminds me that I have something valuable to offer when I feel intimidated.

It's far better than a business card.

Q: How would your life be different without this book?

AK: I would still be struggling to condense my value into an elevator speech and be unclear about my knowledge.  In other words, I knew that I know a lot but I couldn't convey it easily before the book.

Q: What was your biggest fear (or fears) about writing and publishing a book?

AK: My biggest fear about writing and publishing Say the Wrong Thing was that I didn't have anything unique or worthwhile to say for more than three or four pages.  Therefore it was critical that I only decided to publish a book after I had a collection of blog posts written over two years.  I was too overwhelmed to write a book from a blank screen.

Q: Would you recommend other entrepreneurs write a book to help grow their business?

AK: I would ABSOLUTELY recommend that other entrepreneurs, especially mission-driven, social justice business owners, publish a book as a way to synthesize their knowledge and structure their offerings to the world.

Q: Was the outcome what you expected?

AK: No.  The outcomes continue to unfold.  This book is far more than a way to build my list; it is a gift to the world that will keep on giving. Say the Wrong Thing has provided me with a foundation upon which to build my business and to cohere my tribe.  The Strategies of the H.E.A.R.T. help me to stay integrity with myself and guide me day to day.

PRE-ORDER: STOP BEING AFRAID: 5 STEPS TO TRANSFORM YOUR CONVERSATIONS ABOUT RACE

WE ARE IN CRISIS

As another Halloween came and went, racist costumes came and went at my local liberal arts college. People of color were harmed. Forums, rallies, meetings. Implied death threats. Massive social media.

And the tension mounts.

The lines are broadly students of color vs. administration (some of whom are people of color). But there are many nuances.

We are in full conflict, and it hurts.

How to get through this crisis and grow stronger?

How to ride the emotions and the ego rushes and not let them over come you?

The first step is to get into the body, feel the feelings and get yourself out of flight and fight. I went through a process with my mentor that really helped me to remember my power and to lean in with my heart. Here are the steps to the process.

Ask: What do I feel?

Accept all the feelings. One by one.

if fear is one, then name what you fear out loud--preferably to a trusted person.

One of my first feelings was fear: Fear I'm not up to this challenge; that I'll screw up; that I won't be listened to.

My second was compassion for a colleague.

Ask: What do I want?

When I did this I was surprised.

I want everyone to feel valued and important. I want the student leaders to take good care of themselves and their academics. I want the faculty and staff to let go of control and embrace staying grounded in the vision. I want all those who fear loss with change to say it out loud and ask for support.

Ask: What am I willing to do?

I'm willing to offer my support to students, staff and administrators. I'm willing to hold space for transformation of the college community. I'm willing to model acknowledging feelings in a healthy way and listening to my heart's wisdom. My heart is leaning in with anticipation and hope for our community.

Crisis is like birth.

When the contractions are coming at their hardest and quickest, I remember saying out loud "I don't think I can do this." My entire team said "you got this, Amanda. Almost there, Amanda. You're doing great." When we are in the throes of crisis we need a mentor and/or buddies who will remind us that we got this and to keep breathing because we are almost there.

If you are in the midst of crisis, and you have a DEEP CALLING for racial justice, please go here to apply for a free Racial Justice Breakthrough session.

If you qualify, you will walk away knowing why you are stuck and at least one action you can take right away to improve your situation.

What do I do when I live in an all white community?

Dear Racial Justice from the Heart Readers:

This week's blog is dedicated to answering questions from a recent Q&A call for people who signed up for my Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? Master class.  

Please join us for the Stop the Hurt; Stop Your Implicit Racial Bias 5 Day Challenge.

An important question came up--again.  So, I though I'd share the edited transcript with you.

Peace and love,

Amanda

What do I do when I live in an all white community or there's an all white situation or state like Vermont?

Well, thank you for bringing it up, Wendy, because I do get it a lot actually. And in fact, that's one of the goals that people have when they choose to work with me — how do I break out of my white bubble. The first way to break out of your white bubble is to investigate your own hidden implicit biases.

Because your hidden biases are influencing choices you make. They're influencing who you're in relationship with and who you're not. And they're also communicating maybe non-verbally or maybe verbally to the people of color who you do interact with or you, you run into, um, something about your readiness. So the first step to me isn't, Oh, let me go out and you know, find people of color in my town or you know, meet with the Latino ministers in my city. 

I think the first step is really to look at you and to discover, to get clear on your own journey with whiteness, so that when you do engage in relationship, you are doing so without causing harm. Or when someone points out to you how what you said is sort of within a right frame of reference or is bias, you have some capacity to be with it without falling apart and falling into defensiveness.

So there's a lot for you to do before you just try to seek out people of color. When I recommend the five steps to counter implicit bias, it's not until Step Four ( way down on the list) that I say to go towards that which you fear. To go towards it in a respectful way. And one of the ways to do that is to go where you're invited. So if people have a parade or a performance or an exhibit, and they say, everyone welcome or you get an invitation, you're wanting to go to that. If you are afraid of transgressing and going to a space which is, you know, a private space, then you could always call ahead and ask a question or send an email, ask the question.

But that step to me happens after you've done a lot of investigation on your own part, into your own hidden biases. So that's how I would answer that. And thanks Wendy. I think that's a question that a lot of people have. And if you do live somewhere like in Western Massachusetts or Vermont or Maine somewhere, maybe not Maine, I don't know. I've heard that Portland is a super diverse city, but if you live somewhere that is overwhelmingly and predominantly white, you can build relationships. 

For example, I've worked with someone all the last couple of years who, a European American woman whose goal in her mentoring with me was to break out of that "white" bubble. And because of her particular interest in farming and you know, food, she was interested in somehow supporting, uh, a community garden that was led by a Black people. 

She wanted to support that, but she wanted to go in there in a way that was super respectful and also that was mutually beneficial. So it wasn't like she was trying to be a savior or "let me tell you," or something like that. And she also had a lot of expertise because of her profession before she retired. So, in working together, we navigated her journey. And a lot of it was what were her internal thoughts and fears, you know, the fear of judgment, the fear of being rejected, um, the fear of harming other people, the fear of being called out in public. (Please go here to check out  our interview about her experience.)

So this desire I think is, um, is awesome, and I think it's best done with some company. You know, like most things, some accompaniment along the way, a racial justice buddy or accountability partner or if you have a mentor,  getting support from your mentor. 

Please join us for the Stop the Hurt; Stop Implicit Racial Bias 5 day challenge.

BEYOND THE BLACK-WHITE BINARY

This week I want to start to address how we talk about racism in a multiracial context rather than a black-white binary.

Recently, I got this question from Naomi who attended my Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? master class.  After the master class, we had a live Q&A call. Below you'll find the transcript of my answer during the Q&A call.

If you'd like a structure or some scaffolding to help you navigate your difficult conversations about racism.  Please check out the replay here.

It's really great for people who are exhausted from repeating themselves and for people who are not speaking up because they're terrified.

Now for the question...

What do I say to a friend that complains that Black people get all the anti-discrimination attention while her concerns as a Hispanic are ignored? She says that Black Lives Matter leaves her out. 

That's a great question. So I want to, um, address that on a couple of levels. One is, I want to say that lot of times we talk about racism in this country in a black-white binary, and that is completely inadequate to what is real and what is happening on the ground and what has happened historically. Look at the annexation of the Southwest and making it illegal to speak Spanish or in the Pacific Northwest where it was illegal for people of Japanese descent to marry with people of European descent, 

We know that the system of whiteness, yes created itself in opposition to what was defined as blackness, but also in opposition to what was defined as, um, Savage, Indian, you know, indigenous. So I'm still searching for the right terms. I use people of color because I want to be inclusive, but I feel like that really is inadequate for what I'm trying to communicate. The term I used to like better was third-world people, so people from third world and developing countries, which would include people of African descent, people from Latin America, people from Asia, sovereign nations inside the U S, but there are all the other kinds of problems with that term. So I'm just saying out loud that we definitely live in something more complex than a black, white binary. And we always have. 

Number two, I love this book by Ruth King. It's called Minding Race. She's a Black woman Buddhist who does work on racial justice. One of her chapters is on people of color and tensions amongst people of color. One of those tensions is that people of color who are not Black feel silenced or like their experience isn't validated because it hasn't been as extreme as, you know, people of African descent or, organizing around racial justice hasn't been that huge in their community. Or, you know, in the case of some Asian American groups, they've been created it as a model minority, so as a weapon to put down, other Black and brown people. 

So it's a complex; it's complex relationships. And inside of that you'll see there's anti-immigrant sentiment inside the African American community. You'll see there's anti-Black sentiment inside the Asian community.  I mean, even people who suffer from domination by whiteness, also have internalized some of the values of that and then turn on each other. So I'm not surprised that your friend doesn't feel included by Black Lives Matter. Um, you know, maybe they're, and that doesn't mean her life doesn't matter. Maybe, you know, her liberation isn't going to come behind that. It Is going to come behind something more specifically aligned with her, her own ethnic heritage. 

I just want to say out loud and a lot of Latinos are Black or are African descended in addition to being, you know, a Mestizo, indigenous and European. So, and I was telling my friend, uh, Melody who's Puerto Rican something, I was like, "Oh yeah, so and so is an Afro Latina," and Melody goes, "Oh, what is that?"   I was like, "ah, I don't know. But what I've heard her say is that she's a Black Puerto Rican."   Melody was like, "Oh, but aren't all Puerto Ricans black?" I was like, "I think so."  But then we get into all these, you know, people's experiences and how anti-blackness has, you know, manifested in lots of different, um, historical and geographic spaces that have been colonized. 

So that's all to say I think people need to advance and fight for their liberation or you know, whatever the verb is. If fight isn't the right word, cultivate, you know, stand for their liberation and look for other people who want to support them in that. And my perspective is a solidarity perspective. So I am in solidarity with other people who want to, um, dismantle white supremacy. Doesn't mean we all have to be the same to do that. So thanks for that question, Naomi. 

If you want more information on how to have difficult conversations about racism, please check out this free master class.

Fill your Cup: Racial Justice Meet Self-Compassion and Mindfulness

Every Racial Justice advocate, organizer and educator needs to regularly nourish themselves. Recently, I was talking with a friend and explained why self-compassion has made such a huge difference for me as a change maker and as a partner in an interracial marriage. The following is part of this conversation:

Self compassion and mindfulness gave me a way to stand for racial justice with less wear and tear on my being... When you stand for racial justice, you're in the midst of, you're immediately in conflict, right? But conflict is wearing, right? So we live in a society where I am constantly encountering data that angers or saddens me. Or that causes me pain or discomfort. And so what self compassion and mindfulness did, and I put the two together, is they gave me a way to cultivate a ways of being within myself so that that data is less powerful in acting on my system. And so I'm more mindful, conscious of what data I'm taking in and what I'm expanding on in my thinking. However, thinking is not enough.

For most folks mindfulness is about being able to witness or see something and not be the thing that you're witnessing or seeing. I would agree with that. But for me, I practice self-compassionate mindfulness which is a very deliberate investigation, not just of my thoughts, but also of my feelings and body sensations. So I check my emotions and my body sensations, seeking to give loving care, loving kindness to my nervous system, to my physical body, to the hurt, afraid self, that's reactive in the moment. You know what I mean?

I don't push away a reaction. To be self-compassionate with it is to pay attention to it and to see if there's something that I need or is there some way in which I am extending my suffering? Are there expectations, I'm having of myself or of other people that are exacerbating the negativity of the situation? Mindful self compassion is a way to be counter-cultural. It's a way to cultivate loving kindness inside of myself as I stand for something I call justice.

The problem with only standing for justice, as I see it, is that there is no comfort in there. Our nervous systems can get worn down or distorted because we're always in fight or flight. To stand in a place of restfulness, to even deliberately cultivate restfulness as a legitimate need and desire for someone who also stands for justice is unusual, which is why you don't hear those two in the same lane. But that's what I'm interested in.

Can You Put Mindfulness and Racial Justice in the Same Lane?

Can You Put Mindfulness and Racial Justice in the Same Lane? Yes you can!

On my latest interview with Doers Podcast Host Jason Mundok, I discussed the difference between mentoring and coaching, pivoting between an artist identity and racial justice expert, and what it takes to keep dancing even while we work to make the world a better place. You can listen here.

I know some people prefer to read interviews rather than listen, so please check out the edited transcript right here.

If you would like to find out more about our racial justice from the heart mentoring programs, please drop a note on my contact page . I love sharing with folks our self-compassion practices.

Enjoy.

Amanda

Fail Forward

I screwed up! I made some mistakes while facilitating a group and caused harm.

As I told my son, it was a crash and burn moment.

I've had three such moments in my professional life, and they HURT!

In the past those experiences have caused me to put up my defenses externally and to engage in endless self-harm internally.

Twenty years ago I felt so embarrassed at the holes found out in my knowledge that I literally cut off contact with an elder professor who wanted to mentor me.

This time, thanks be to God-Is, I was able to recover and learn--to fail forward. (Thanks to Marissa Colston for this term.)

I love that it implies movement.

Failing forward isn't just mentally reviewing what you did or did not do.

Failing forward isn't just dissecting what happened with a trusted mentor/coach or loved ones.

Failing forward also requires you to FEEL all the feelings that your failure bring up in you.

When I failed a couple of weeks ago I stewed in a bunch of thoughts, but I RESISTED feeling.

I rehearsed my defense. I made the other parties wrong. I made me wrong. I defended myself. I criticized them. I attacked myself, etc.

After a couple of days, I started to notice the chemicals flooding my body when I had these thoughts.

I noticed that I couldn't hold tree pose in yoga when I kept replaying the situation.

My balance was off when my mind went there.

I resolved to only talk about it with my coach--to stop THINKING.

My coach helped to shift me to learning rather than defending.

That helped shift me to what I could do differently next time.

But during my next yoga class, while lying on the ground in wind removing pose, another insight came.

A critical error that exacerbated everything else.

Good to know.

But not enough.

When I got home, I finally let myself FEEL my feelings.

For 90 seconds. A few times.

Then I practiced my Black Girl Style Ho'oponopono.

I caressed my hands and arms while saying the phrases to myself and to the group.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."

I finally "got" the learning. I failed forward.

Here's what I know and must confront every time: I am a FEELING being. Mental processes can help, but real integrated learning and peace come when we FEEL and forgive ourselves and others.

Do you want to hear more or try it out?

Go here to this interview with Lisa Graustein where I walk her through what I call Feel Flow.

Your welcome!

Peace and love,

Amanda

P.S.--If you know that feelings are a key piece of the puzzle and want to go further, join us for My Grandmother's Hands discussion group on Oct. 10. We will focus on Chapter 2. Get more info here.

Dr. amanda kemp talks to Lisa Graustein. See video HERE

FOR PEACE--SAY YOUR PIECE!

Yesterday I had a conversation with someone I respect in our community where ultimately we agreed AND disagreed.

We share some common values and yet have a different approach to community building.

What I noticed was that I felt nervous and jumpy before our conversation. My body was ready for fight and flight. After some mutual pleasantries, we got to the point--but what was the point?

As it turned out, I misinterpreted something she said on social media.

Ok, relief that we did not let Facebook mediate our conversation and ultimately relationship.

But nonetheless when we got to the real point, we did not agree.

I'm stirred up as I consider her point of view and her pain.

I don't know how she feels today.

But I know she planted a seed in me.

I'm searching for how and where my integrity directs me to act now.

And, I want you to know that I used the 5 steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism to have this conversation.

I did not want it to be debate or a fake polite unity.

I wanted an authentic exchange where I could share my questions and my certainty and where I could really hear her out.

We weren't talking about racism, but the principles worked.

Today here's what I noticed with the help of my mentor.

I did good. I showed up. I came with my heart open and consciously breathed into my heart.

As I breathed into my heart, the other person shared her pain which was underlying her perspective.

We shared the struggle for integrity and right action.

I did not fully share what it was like for me.

I avoided being vulnerable.

I can ask her to listen; I can ask for another conversation.

This feels scary.

I don't want to be rejected or ridiculed.

But I promised my coach that I would ask anyway because this will stretch and honor me.

I'm sharing this because even though I did not do it perfectly, I took the 5 Steps and they guided me through a conversation that scared me.

Is there a conversation you are avoiding?

is there some unfinished business that's holding you back?

Would having some simple steps help you?

I'm going to share the 5 Steps and my breakthroughs with them in an online master class: "Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? 5 Steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism."

During this class you'll learn the key to avoiding exhaustion and bitterness as a person of color.

You'll learn how to transform your fight, freeze and flight tendencies so you can stay present and empowered.

And, what to say and where NOT to say it.

This class is only an hour but it will be packed with what you can IMMEDIATELY put into action in regards to a conversation you've been putting off.

I know not everyone can make this time, so I'm going to record "Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? 5 Steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism." and make the replay available for 48 hours.

This is FREE. And it's GOOD.

If you already know that you'd like to have a PERSONAL mentor and that you're ready to have a breakthrough in having difficult conversations about racism (and other isms), please reply to this email. I'm reserving 5 spots on my calendar for FREE 1:1 sessions. You will walk away knowing why you're stuck and at least one next step you can take to have your voice.

These Breakthrough sessions are for people who are willing to say YES to themselves and invest their time, energy and money in developing their skills. Just reply to this email and I'll send you what you need to get on my schedule.

I hope to "see" you all at "Afraid to Say the Wrong Thing? 5 Steps to Transform your Conversations about Racism."

Peace and love,

Amanda

P.S.--Whether you know nothing about the 5 Steps or have been trying to apply them for a long time, you will get something from this class! Sign up here.

AK

1619 ... and counting

FOR ANGELA/ANGEL.

According to the British, the year was 1619. I don't know how African peoples counted that year. I don't know how the Arabs, the Hebrews or the Chinese counted it. But to English colonists living on stolen land in Jamestown, VA —it was 1619.

August.

Amongst the "twenty and odd" African people sold to the Virginia colony there was a woman "Angelo," as she was first called, later Angela.

Scholars know that she survived a 100 mile forced march from the interior to the coast of Angola; that she survived horribly overcrowded conditions on a ship owned by Portugal; that she was kidnapped by English pirates on her way to Veracruz, Mexico; and that she was ultimately taken to the stolen land "Jamestown."

Angela.

Angel.

And so started the four hundred year experiment of African descended people in what is now called the U.S. We now know that such trauma experienced, witnessed and even that of the inflictors is passes on to multiple generations unless healed.

According to Resmaa Menakem, the author of My Grandmothers Hands, our bodies hold non-verbal stories of white supremacy violence. Today these non-verbal stories tell our bodes when to fear and when to relax.

Menakem argues that in the U.S. white bodies have been trained over time and generations to fear black bodies on sight. And black bodies have been conditioned to feel hyper vigilant, careful and uncomfortable around white bodies. It's what the bodies do despite what the conscious mind might choose or know.

He goes on to argue that before you can begin to heal, you have to settle the body because an unsettled body resists healing.

Angela,

Angel.

I'm thinking about you.

It turns out we have this organ that Western-Euro-American medicine has only recently identified--the vagus nerve. It connects to our guts, our heart, our spine, and our hind brain. It reacts instantly. It's not connected to the conscious mind. It holds the impulse to survive. It keeps the score.

I met a Black spiritual teacher once who told me that she made a commitment to heal her lineage. Not just herself and her kids and her parents but her entire lineage. She took a seven year sabbatical to do that.

I'm thinking about fires burning in the Amazon, what some traditions call the lungs of the planet.

400 years.

Angela.

Veracruz bound.

But the English brought you here.

Angel.

Now today, I acknowledge the icy fingers in my gut. The low grade anxiety. The constipation. My inheritance.

Trauma.

So how did we not become a "race" of sociopaths, narcissists, and other self-destructive patterns?

Well.

Our bodies also reach toward settling and healing.

Our bodies also passed down singing, humming, making music, rocking, touching, protecting, breathing, and chanting,

These practices don't remove slavery or jim crow or lynch mobs, but they give us the capacity to recover without completely breaking.

Angela

Angel.

I don't know what you did to survive all that you did.

But I re-member you.

And I offer this prayer of forgiveness:

I'm sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you

How Do You Stop Judging People and Why You Should

Do you want to stand for justice AND want to come from a place of compassion?

I'm sharing with you a short audio excerpt "How to Stop Judging People." It's a real and searching conversation by folks who stand for racial justice from the heart.

My own experience shows me that the pain of the hurt gets extended by judging. But that doesn't mean we can't set boundaries or say no to harm.

This is short and so good. Give a listen here.

If you'd like to talk through your judgements, and you have a Deep Calling to stand for Racial Justice, we invite you to apply for a FREE Racial Justice Breakthrough session.

This is your chance to get our 30+ years of experience on your problem.  We help you to get "un-stuck" wherever it is you are feeling challenged so that you can take the next right step for you.

It can be hard to figure things out on your own.

Every so often I open up space in my schedule, and I've got 3 spots over the next two weeks. These are first come, first served.

APPLY HERE!

Peace and love,

Amanda

She Got Out of Her White Bubble: Meet Ruth Hazard

I recently had the opportunity to talk to Ruth about her experience getting out her white bubble. Click on the link to view.

Rambo and Talking with a 30 year veteran of police dept

Michael is watching Rambo as I write this . I'm trying to ignore it because I'm not a Sly fan, but it's hard to avoid the story. A green beret, suffering from PTSD, gets jumped on by a small town police force and fights back. It's frustrating because this entire town's police resources go into apprehending a man who they triggered into trauma, resulting in lots of killing for no good reason.

Imagine what would be possible if the police force was staffed by people who know how to de-escalate. What if peace officers actually knew how to create peace?

Well, meet Kerry Mensior, a 30 year veteran of the San Diego Police Department. He trains police and sheriff departments around the country on how to create strategic empathy and rapid rapport with people they are policing. Kerry says it's key to speak to people in the language they can hear which means all of us need to be fluent beyond what makes sense to us. I interviewed Kerry last week and wanted to share part one of our conversation with you.

Peace and love,

Amanda

P.S.--Let me know your thoughts after you listen.

AK

“I exhaust myself.”

Since I returned from our Strong Voice Compassionate Heart Retreat, two people, two beautiful change makers have told me this.

They are not alone.

One of the most important things I got out of a self compassion class is that our minds are not here to make us happy.

The mind is conditioned to keep us safe.

Safety means staying vigilant about harm.

We’re constantly thinking about what’s wrong; what’s a threat; and how we are not doing enough.

The Trump onslaught is so constant and on so many fronts, that it's easy to slip into a low level of panic.

Just ask yourself to watch your breath for one minute and notice all the resistance come up. Even though the panic and worry don't feel good, they seduce us. Tara Brach calls it a trance.

So, what to do?

Breathe.

Stop thinking.

Stop listening to or reading the news.

Connect with something green.

Walk barefoot.

Drink water and really taste it.

Thank yourself for showing up on this planet.

Take care of your self.

The way to break out of being stuck isn't to yell at yourself or shame yourself. It's through honesty and kindness.

If you want to experience joy like you've never known it WHILE working for racial justice, please apply for a free Racial justice Breakthrough Session. We will help you to see why you're stuck and at least one action you can take to restore your energy and strength.

I've got space in my schedule for 3 sessions this week. First come, first served. Apply here.

Peace and love

Amanda

PS.--If you've been struggling with how to take care of yourself and show up for racial justice, apply for a one on one session. You'll get my unique perspective as someone standing for compassion and justice.

AK

Image credit to STELLA BLUE: bystellablu.com

Music For The Revolution

Hey there!

I’m sitting at a roof top listening to Michael and Francis talk about how musicians make time, generating past and present and future. We move on to Sun Ra. Then Francis shares how our mental strength correlates to how much awe we experience in our daily lives. Music and art including Mother Earth’s creativity can make us feel AWE!

This is what happens when composer Francis Wong is in town from San Francisco!

We're celebrating by having friends and artists of all sorts come to our home for a house concert/jam session on July 13th for a Transformation Symphony Sneak Peek House Concert. More information here.  Eventbrite.com/e/transformation-symphony-sneak-peek-house-concert-tickets-65045049494

What's the Transformation Symphony? In 2020 we’ll celebrate the 150th anniversary of the 15th amendment--the one that gives citizens voting rights. But it's also a time to mark all of the Reconstruction amendments and the lives of people like Frederick Douglas.

This symphony is going to draw on the words of Douglass who spoke on abolition, immigrant rights and human freedom more broadly. We will also draw on the healing words and practices that I’ve been exploring in the era of Trump. We want to transcend and transform not protest or resist because the latter usually happens inside the consciousness of white supremacy.

We won't have an orchestra at our house concert, but you'll get to hear some of the melodies, themes etc. that we are playing with as we create this new work. The jam session is an opportunity for any musicians to bring their instruments and sit in with us as we improvise, read music and have a blast! So come to listen or come to play--BUT COME!!

Because of space limitations, we have to cap our numbers at 25. Even if you can't come, please send your energy by giving or checking out my Dr Amanda Kemp page on Facebook. Your donation will help to fund the symphony and is tax deductible. Order your Frederick Douglass T-shirt. IF YOU CAN'T COME, email us with your mailing address and add $10 for shipping

Yours in evolution!

Amanda

Dr. Amanda Kemp and husband Michael wearing their Frederick Douglass T-shirts.

You're so Great (But I Suck)!

Melody Leon of Leon Consulting and Development

Have you ever been in a conversation when someone complimented you in a way that put themselves down?

Have you ever thought OMG, that person (Michelle Obama or Lupita Nyongo for me) is so confident, smart and comfortable in her skin--and I'm not? I suck!

Well, I recorded a conversation with my friend and former client Melody Leon about what to do when that happens. Listen here!

We also talked about how you can recover when your nervous system gets hijacked.

This conversation is for you if:

You're dealing with the day to day trauma of chronic racism

You get choked up and lose your voice when people say racist crap

You want to own yourself completely and not let other people dictate your actions!

Melody is a Puerto Rican homegirl from Brooklyn who has overcome and healed her own PTSD to become a successful entrepreneur and Beauty (inner and outer) Enthusiast. Check her website here.

Spoiler alert: We will be practicing ways to recover from automatic emotional reactions in our Strong Voice Compassionate Heart Retreat. Three spots left. More info here!

Peace and love,

-Amanda

From Louise Hay's Power Thought Cards.

Black and Asian Creation: Happy Birthday, Malcolm X and Yuri Kochiyama

Malcolm X and Yuri Kochiyama. Image from Massalijn

Let's take a moment to thank Malcolm and to thank Yuri. Sunday May 19th would have been their birthdays.

They saw the interconnection of the movements of people all over the world for freedom, dignity, and self-determination.

How fitting that they shared a birthday and that Yuri, a Japanese American held Malcolm after the assassins bullets brought him down in 1965.

I want to share some beautiful art that shows Black and Asian unity.

Please give a listen to Francis Wong's "Prayer for Melvin Truss," an African American youth who was killed by police in San Jose, CA.

Read my blog: Art Leads which focuses on Chinese American jazz composer Jon Jang's "Can't Stop Cryin for America; Black Lives Matter Now."

Reply to this email if you'd like to get the CD featuring my collaboration with Jon Jang--It's coming soon!

Let's keep our hearts open to each other.

Peace and love,

Amanda

P.S.--We've extended the White Women's Tears video replay until midnight Sunday night. Watch here.

AK

White Women's Tears & Racial Justice

One of the most important relationships in racial justice is that between European American women and African American women. If we could heal this partnership, what would be possible? To do that requires a reckoning...

How do white women use their power? Often it is subtle, appearing as weakness and fragility. However, historically and to this day, a white woman in distress triggers a powerful reaction of sympathy and protection, especially when its in the context of an interaction with African Americans. Think Birth of a Nation, Scottsboro Boys, Emmett Till, and on and on. Literally, Black people got killed when a white woman cried. More recently, people have been pointing out that those tears in "diversity workshops" are often an unconscious way for white women to resist owning their part in white domination.

But there's another side to this.

What if you're a white women who cries while standing up for racial justice?

What about white women who cry for their friends, children and partners of color?

Must those tears be shed privately?

Can those tears be present without pulling the attention of the group away from racial justice?

What happens to the movement if we make all tears "fragile"?

I got a chance to discuss this topic with my friend Lisa Graustein who is a racial justice educator and co-facilitates Beyond Diversity 101 intensives with Niyonu Spann. Lisa holds European American, Queer, woman and Quaker identities. She has spent most of her adult life working with young people and is one of the people I trust.

You can read a transcript of our conversation here.

On May 13, Lisa and I will be offering a training and live Q&A on how European American women can show up with their WHOLE hearts for racial justice.  Find out more here!

Please join us!

Peace and love,

Amanda

Dr. Amanda Kemp with friends Tabatha Hernandez and Molly Schlachter at Ware Center.

How To Know If You’re Being Tokenized and What To Do With Angry Black Woman Stereotype

Have you ever asked yourself:

Am I being used by this organization?

Is my image or participation being used to make it seem like this school is more racially diverse and just than it is?

If so, you are not alone. I share some suggestions on how to avoid being tokenized as change makers as well as how to deal with trigger words that make us shut down in conversations.

CLICK HERE FOR THE VIDEO

I hope you will join me for the Strong Voice: Compassionate HEART Retreat.

We are going to focus on taking care of ourselves and having a strong and effective voice when talking about racism.


Fake Black?

"It's Beautiful Where You Are" by Joseph Boyd, Photo: Amanda Hill

Dear Reader,

I want to share with you the value of private mentoring. Especially for those of us who experience imposter syndrome. You know that feeling like you’re not REALLY qualified because so few people who look like you hold certain positions. Or, maybe felling like you're not REALLY Black/Latinex/Queer etc because you've overcome barriers that folks from your community rarely overcome.

My spiritual coach said something profound to me yesterday.

You probably know I grew up in foster care and prior to that I had gone hungry. Early on I experienced neglect and abandonment because my mom was addicted to heroin aka opioids. To this day, it’s hard for me to be early because I feel sad and anxious when I have to wait. If you cancel an appointment or date with me, I feel angry and a little sick to my stomach— especially if I love you. Clearly, those early days of waiting for my mom to come home (which sometimes took days), have left their mark. Similarly, I grew up in a low income Black and Puerto Rican community with a lot of violence and barely enough.

I was telling my mentor that sometimes my current life feels unreal, and I worry that I’m abandoning my people by living in my affluent neighborhood. Sometimes I feel distrustful of my partner. My life is so different from my early reality that it seems unreal.

My teacher and elder looked at me and said

“You’re rooting your identity in the Middle Passage, but that’s not where you started.”

With a little nudging, I saw how I had tied up my African heritage to poverty, abandonment, and other painful experiences. So, to heal those which I have done to a large extent feels like my current situation is unreal. The authentic African in America experience is oppression. Yet, that is only partially true. When I dig a little further, I also see intellectual brilliance, financial wealth and generosity, creativity up the wazoo, and huge compassion—to name a few qualities.

Sometimes folks confide in me that they feel like an imposter because they are the first to have a beneficial marriage or they are the first of their gender and/or race to hold a leadership role. For those of us who grew up without enough, it feels unreal to go into a cafeteria and get a bunch of food without having to count how much is in your purse first.

Thank God-Is, for whatever blessings we enjoy that allow us to practice self-love and love for others.

What’s real is my connection to God-Is, the earth, my ancestors, the galaxy AND the PRESENT MOMENT.

This is no small shift in perspective. It is seismic and will need nurturing to integrate. Thankfully, I have a mentor and a circle that is willing to affirm my liberated reality.

If you’d like this kind of support in your journey, I hope you can check out my album:
Black Girl Magic: Poems, Meditations, and Spells for Self Care and Liberation

Peace and love,

Amanda

P.S.--Making big changes in yourself so that you have the courage to do something new requires support. If you're tired of feeling insecure about being called out or ready to learn how to take care of yourself even when you are the trailblazer, please check out this opportunity.